Today, marks the most darkest day of my life. I lost my pet, my best friend, my companion and my heart.
Everyday, it’s a routine for me to continuously change his bowl of water at every few hours and everytime I did that, he’ll be letting out sweet cry of gratitude and scratching the tips of the cabinet just to show that he’s glad it’s going his way. Every morning I have to remind myself not to rush out of the room to avoid stepping or stumble over him because he’ll always rest his body against my room’s door to greet my morning. Everytime he hears the sound of the door knob turned or keys clinging against the lock, a sign that I’m back home, he never fail to welcome me at the foyer. Everytime I either sit or lie down on the long sofa, he’ll sure make his way up and squeeze at any open corners just so he can accompany me while I watch some tv. And when he feels he needs to be more comfortable, he climb to my body and rest himself on my tummy or chest and ask for my hand to stroke his head and play with his ears.
Muffin loves to kacau Donut.
But now, my routine is not going to be the same. I won’t be hearing from him anymore, I won’t hear his cries, I won’t hear his bells from his neck collar shingling down the hall, he won’t be at the front of my door receiving me, he won’t budge me constantly to change his bowl for water, he won’t lie on my tummy, he won’t be sleeping beside me. He’s gone.
Muffin on IV drip, a day before his death.
Today, my heart passed away after being diagnosed with Polycystic Kidney Disease, a chronic kidney failure. He was only 5 years old. We had tried all ways to save him but it’s fated that he had to leave us early. Having to say my last goodbye to his already stiffen lifeless body was depressing and heart-breaking. His body was cold and the only warmness was of the greatest wonderful memories we had together.
Our last goodbye, before he was taken away for cremation.
“Shayang Apin,
Kakak misses u a lot. I know Apin is getting the greatest care up there. I can’t wait for us to get re-united again in the afterlife. I’ll be waiting for that day and for now, I have to try to be strong and move on to show my best care for the other two, Donut and Aboo. Shayang Apin sangat-sangat.”
Rest in peace my love.
You’ll noticed that I mentioned my cat as “he”, “him”, “his”. He’s no ordinary cat or animal. He’s not just an animal. He doesn’t deserve the “it” just because he’s born as an animal. He was a part of the Yusoff family, one of the pillar of strength to the family, the heart and joy of the house and one of the greatest companion in my life. He is, my one and only Muffin.
a medley of her say and thoughts 
i lost my cat a few years back. she lost the use of her hind legs days before giving birth. when she was a kitten she was ran over by a car. we manage to save her legs by inserting metal braces on her spine. she regained the ability to walk on her hind leg after that. i guess the stress of pregnancy and carrying 5 kittens in her tummy finally broke her back again. She was paralyzed with kitten in her tummy. She tried giving birth but one of the kitten got stuck on the way out. Next thing i know we had to perform emergency C section on her. but it was too late. All the kittens died and the docs told me to put “baby” to sleep. I asked him to give me a day so that my mom could fly from Sabah to see her one last time. When she landed in KLIA she drove straight to the clinic to see her. By this time BABY can’t even walk. She can’t even response to us calling her name
Weird thing is when mom walk into the clinic she stood up and start meowing. it is as if she knew mom was there to say her last goodbye. Hours later she died naturally without us having to euthanised her
its sad. she was only 7 years old at that time.
RIP baby
and RIP to MUFFIN as well. i know this entry is almost a year old but what the heck. its not often that i share my kitten stories with random strangers!